Dreaming about an ex can surface a lot of questions. What does it mean? Are you not over them? Should you get back together? Before you go searching for your old dream book to decipher what your subconscious is trying to tell you, we decided to speak to some experts to find out more about what it really means when an ex visits you in your sleep. Keep reading to see what two dream analysts had to say.
“Dreaming about an ex could be pointing you to reconnect with that person in the real world or to something that they symbolically represent inside of you,” Gary Bobroff, master’s in Jungian-oriented counseling psychology, author of Knowledge in a Nutshell: Carl Jung, and founder of Jungian Online, told POPSUGAR. “Our common assumption is to go toward the outer life in dreams, while Carl Jung pointed us toward the inner life.”
Gary explained that we are often attracted to people who freely express qualities within ourselves that we reject. “While we may certainly dream of an ex who we are still hung up on, sometimes it’s not so much about them as it is about what they point to inside of us,” he explained. But before assuming you should reconnect with the ex in waking life, Gary recommends asking yourself a series of questions: What does this person mean for you or represent to you? Is that something that’s best revisited in the world or in yourself? Is it going to potentially restart a toxic pattern?
Sweet Luna Tarot, master’s in psychology and dream interpreter for 15 years, agrees that dreaming of an ex likely means more about you than it does about your ex. “Oftentimes, it is the subconscious seeking answers,” she told POPSUGAR. “Maybe there was no closure in the relationship when it ended, or maybe you’re seeking in the waking life a relationship similar with the ex’s positive features.” She warns that reaching out to an ex may not result in the desired response.
As far as whether to tell your current partner about your nocturnal tryst with your ex? The dream analysts agree that may not be the best move either. “Discussing exes can be triggering, and sometimes we selfishly want to share everything with our partner even when some things are best kept to ourselves,” said Gary. Luna added: “Your dreams are private, and just because you dream of an ex doesn’t mean you are cheating or that you are even thinking of the ex.” Dreams, she reminds us, are sometimes just dreams.